Do you remember that scene in the movie “Searching
for Bobby Fischer” in which he is staring at the chess board trying to decide
his next move, and he remembers his coach saying something about how he needs
to see the ending and how he will get there before he makes his next move? That’s how I feel about this book. I keep writing down these bits and pieces of
my story because I feel so compelled to write them. But I can’t figure out why it needs to be
written down. I feel like I’m staring at
a chess board and all the pieces are there, although perhaps scattered a little
across the board and not perfectly lined up.
It isn’t random, because I put them there. I just can’t figure out why I put them there
and where they are supposed to wind up so that there is some kind of successful
end result. Sometimes I feel like the
king and the goal is to protect myself and make sure I win. But mostly I feel like little Bobby Fischer
staring down at my life knowing that just a handful of correct moves will bring
victory. If only I could figure it
out. I love that scene in the movie. I love the camera as it’s focused on his face
trying to make sense of the pieces. I
love as it shifts from the pieces being in focus to his face as it clicks in
his mind, and you see hope and adrenaline as he realizes how to win. He lifts his head, his mind clear with the
answer, solidifies his plan, and finishes the game. Victory. I’m hoping that moment of clarity will
come. And more importantly, I’m hoping
when it does come, I will have the courage to finish.
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